This whole drama mama
karmic-fueled relationship between the three of you centered on one
classic problem that always spark similar crisis - your woman's
definition of love.
Her perception of love lies largely in the realm of emotions
(CloUdiSm states the three realms of relationship is divisible by
physical, emotional and spiritual); and the direction of this
relationship is fetter by her intense need for companionship much
more than love per se.
In other words, regardless of what Love means to you - if she
doesn't have companionship, she strays easily. Such archetypes of
mates are highly volatile and mutable - they seek to stabilise
their emotions through the presence of their partner and they
reckon such companionship as Love.
Not saying that Love doesn't have companionship, but when you
reverse this equation - what I am saying to say is that not all
companionships are love.
I was talking to my jie mei the other day and she suffers from this
problem. Her rationale is that when she doesn't have her other half
around, she finds herself easily 'strayable', especially when other
guys are around when she is feeling 'low'.
You see, Love is
a constant - it isn't a variable. It doesn't matter
what your external circumstance is, but if this basic condition of
Love still lies undisturbed, indeed, this relationship has
transcends the need for a marked boundary to function as a
'relationship.
What kind of Love does one command, or wished to command, if
his/her is so easily influenced by his/her environment?
Because a relationship is but two entirely separately individuals,
with vastly different psychological mindset, personality and home
environment, coming together - via freewill - in this imaginary
bonds we call 'Relationship'. The truth is that we are not bounded
into any relationship like what you could do to two items by tying
them up with a nylon thread.
But we stay 'bounded' because in our hearts, we appeared to have
melded into one. Therefore, in that sense, if we could detach this
heart away from another just because the circumstance seemed
'fertile' for it, perhaps this love isn't functioning the way it
ought to be.
Love never stays stagnant; it either provides growth or
degenerates. Therefore if you cannot seem to achieve growth,
chances are, it could be declining subtly without your
acknowledgement. And I can tell you that it's not just negligence
that is causing this .
This seeming-innocent-friendster-message-turn-into friend scenario
is so gawd damn stupid. Let's preview the rationale behind this
'innocent' message.
Conditions before a guy would message anyone in friendster, that is
not his friend, to 'ai cho peng you mai?' would be:
I) She must have looked attractive to him.
II) Please refer to (I)
III) Please refer to (II)
Duh.
Do anyone seriously think that guys message another woman in
friendster just because he somehow, 'miraculously and mystically',
finds her personality appealing and wants to know her? I think it's
more likely for a guy to have taken fancy at her 34C, for example.
Understanding this, it's even more gawd damn bloody stupid for one
to even buy such 'marketing tactics' employed by a guy through such
medium. But the fact is that if it does happen, it only reveals one
thing - that your woman will definitely not be able to withstand
any form of relationship crisis because she is far too malleable
and so easily subjected to 'mass marketing'.
And in economics, it's the law of supply and demand - she needed
someone to be there, while he is seeking for one gawd damn bloody
stupid woman to response. I can tell you that this guy probably
messaged one hundred other ladies, spending his time prowling in
friendster and sniffing out the more 'chio' ones. The other 99
probably don't give a damn.
The gist of his thoughts probably goes like this:
'Oh, someone did response. That's
great! Time to zoom in for a 'catch'. Oh, got boyfriend? Who gives
a damn. Army ar? Great! Because girlfriend sure kanna neglected
one. Wah this woman very emo somemore. Good good. Bf no money, lagi
best. Kanna-neglect-plus-emo-woman is best recipe for a snatch
thief like me! Wahahahahhahahahahahhahaa... chong ar!'
The classification of this technique, I have seen and studied
previously is segmented under the umbrella of 'AOBD' - the lesser
version and to me, the strategy is passé.
Seriously, I say you deserve someone better. Personally, I cannot
stand needy mates. Not because I am emotionally cold, but because
my aspiration in life cannot be tied down by a partner who is needy
and only seeks the companionship in love and not greater things in
life.
In love, you need someone to walk your life with; side by side,
hand-in-hand.
Not someone that craves for your attention to play with them all
day.
In that sense, your growth will only limits itself to companionship
and you will never grow out of this shell to fully experience the
extend of the true power in love. 
Cheers
